Playing by the Rules
by ANDineffable
Summary: Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer have been a dynamic duo of friends for a very long time, but when it comes time to maybe settle down and get serious the notorious cats seek out help to try and win...well each other! SUCK AT SUMMERIES, A load of Drabble.
1. Time to settle down!

**Playing by the Rules**

**_So, this is probably total crap, but I felt like writing a fanfic about the notorious cats! Um It probably doesn't make much sense right now either, hopefully it will develope into a well thought out story that won't make your eyes bleed!  
_**

**_It is very difficult for me to try to write out how I think words would be pronounced with a cockney accent. Bear with me! Enjoy my drabbles!_**

Chapter 1

"Slow down will ya!" the voice echoed across the yard over the sounds of dogs barking and a trashcan being knocked over. Mungojerrie sped away from the large suburban home with a bag full of the terrible duo's latest 'score'. Rumpleteazer was already halfway down the street laughing the whole way with a pearl bracelet hanging from her mouth.

Jerrie hissed and clawed one last time at the yappy pollicle before racing down the street at the speed of light, Teazer had settled behind a trashcan and was now on the ground laughing hysterically.

"You shoulda seen ya face!" she burst out between laughs, true Jerrie had screamed like a little girl and turned pale when the pollicle took a snap at him. Everything seemed to be going well in the heist until Rumple saw a pearl bracelet and decided to go back for it.

"What is it with ya women and yer jewels anyway?" He sneered back breathless, angry with his partner in crime. When Teazer jumped onto the dresser with the pearls she stumbled, which was abnormal for this stealthy cat, and knocked over a glass vase, and that's where the chaos began. Next thing you know a bunch of humans are running around yelling and the dogs are after you. And Jerrie found himself facing everything himself with Teazer sprinting out of the picture.

Rumpleteazer took the pearls and snapped them around her neck, it fit perfectly, the pearls gleamed in the sun as white as the Cats grin. "What? I am a lady y'know, I can't have my own pretty things? Wait till I show Victoria up eh?" she played with the round beads with a proud grin.

Jerrie looked at her, he couldn't deny that she did look pretty… he shook his head. _She's yer best friend, ya can't have thoughts like that…_ He quietly scolded himself… but the Jellicle ball was coming up soon and Jerrie had been left without a mate the year before and he would enjoy having someone to, y'know, dance with and stuff. He just couldn't imagine Teazer, the Tom-Queen saying yes to goofy Mungojerrie.

A long while ago they had met, neither could really place their tongue on an exact date but anyways, the two met in Victorian Grove, they where both strays and became a dynamic duo from their first conversation. The two decided that life was easier when you just took what you wanted and they became a Cat Nabbing couple. Throughout their lives they were often mistaken as twins, but this was far from true, and somewhere a long while later the two became a part of the famous Jellicle tribe, still roaming free as they wanted, but a part of a family. They still get into trouble often, roaming away from the tribe as far as they wish, and sometimes getting mixed into business with the wrong cats, be the two remained a close pair, but maybe, they both would never admit, it was time to settle down…

"Teazer…." Jerrie started, the two where now sitting and admiring the things the had just nabbed. "You think you're gonna go to the ball this year?" the Tom asked shyly.

"Eh…why not eh? It's a lot of fun usually." She said still distracted by the spheres draped around her neck.

"Who ya goin' with?" Jerrie continued now staring down at his feet.

"Huh?" she looked at Jerrie confused, "I dunno…" She laughed "Why are you gunna take me big boy?! Or do you have some other hot dat I don't know about." She shoved him playfully.

Jerrie frowned for a moment, she didn't take the hint at all… He tried to shake away the thought. He pushed her back. "Maybe I do! I'll beat you back to the junkyard!" he switched the subject quickly. Teazer sat back for a minute… something seemed strange… could he? No. She sprinted after him.

Bombalurina sat up proudly on the hood of the TSE 1 as she slowly groomed her fur. Plato, Pouncival, and Tumblebrutus all sat mesmerized below with wide eyes, completely ignoring the female kittens who had given up by now and where playing tag in the background. Bomba ate it up and played off of their attention.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer arrived back at the junkyard and parted, Jerrie told Teazer he had some business to take care of and she wasn't going to argue with that. After their short conversation she had been left confused, and needed the advice of a… more experienced queen.

After racing to her secret den and stashing away her new pearls the Calico Queen raced over to the TSE 1 to seek out help. Without a second thought she leaped up onto the hood next to Bombalurina who jumped startled by Teazer. The male kits below began to laugh, "Oh shove off you pervs!" Bomba sneered. They shrugged and went to join the other kits for tag.

"What could _you_ possibly want…" Bomba spat with a glare directed towards Rumpleteazer, upset that she cut her attention hogging short.

"Er…Bomba…You, uh." Teazer started a bit lost for words.

"Spit it out…" Bombalurina stated coldly.

"You, know your way around the Toms… y'know… like ya know how they work n' stuff…" she continued a bit shyly.

Bombalurina smoothed the fur on her paws, not making any attempt at eye contact. She and Teazer weren't exactly friends. "I guess you could say that…" she stated. Although everyone knew she had most of the Tom's wrapped around her finger.

"Well uh… lets say there's this Tom…and he might." Rumple shifted nervously, "Like me or something like that…"

Bomba sat up, now she was interested, she looked at Rumpleteazer and grinned.

"So you want some help with the Toms eh?" she blurted out through Teazer's mumbling.

"Well I don't quite know 'bout that but…"

Bomba interrupted "Well matchmaking is my specialty, although I don't think I've ever had a case quite as hard as yours." She said looking Rumpleteazer over,

"Hey!" Teazer retorted with an angry glare.

"Well If you're going to try to find a mate you're going to need some major help, a bit of practice, a bit of… grooming, ick…" Bomba rolled on.

"I didn't come to ya to be insulted Miss Prick, and I"

"Well are you in or not?" The Scarlet Queen shot straight to the point with a serious look.

"I…well…I…yes." The Calico gave in. Bombalurina's face loosened into a smirk.

"Good, then meet me here tomorrow, sun up, and be ready." And with that she leapt off the car and sauntered away in her usual sexy manor. The male kittens gave one last look before she disappeared around a corner.

Rumpleteazer took a deep breath and fell back onto the car shaking her head.

"Oi…what have I gotten myself into…"

**_Are you crying yet? I am.... too much to do!_**

**_R&R if its nice XD. _**


	2. You're really going to do this?

**Playing by the Rules Ch. 2**

A small brown mouse skirted through the junkyard, stopping every now and then to sniff a piece of trash or nibble on something. Behind the mouse a cat slowly stalked its prey, silently sitting in a hunting stance waiting to spring out at any moment and claim lunch. The moment had come, The Rum Tum Tugger smirked and got ready to launch forward, he had been hunting for and was ready for lunch. He got ready to jump out, the mouser nibbling on cardboard, he pushed back and…

"Tugger!" Mungojerrie blurted as he approached the curious cat twiddling his paws. The mouse perked up and bolted away, Tugger sprang forward but missed,

"Damn it!" he shouted slamming a paw on the ground with a scowl. He looked back to see who had scared his lunch away but his anger turned into confusion as he recognized Mungojerrie, The tabby barely ever talked to Tugger.

"Jerrie? What do you need so badly that you interrupt my hunting?" Tugger asked with a stern glare.

"Eh… well I'm sorry…. I just need some help… y'know, you're good with the Queens." He blushed as he stumbled through his request. "I need some, lady advice."

Tugger laughed, "Well I see why you came to me," he started flipping his mane with a proud purr, "So what can the expert help you with? Who'd the lucky lady? Exotica… Cassandra… or maybe it's a kitten…" the Maine coon tapped his brain to remember the single queens.

Mungojerrie felt a bit awkward, he barely knew The Rum Tum Tugger on more than an acquaintance level, but he knew that the next ball was coming up soon and it would be awful to go single for a second year in a row.

"It's Teazer." He huffed quickly. The calico was hit with a pang of worry, with that confession he had either secured a future with a beautiful Queen or made the biggest mistake of his life.

Tugger grinned mischievously, "Oh, so you need more than just a partner in crime." He said as he placed an arm around Mungojerrie who flinched in surprise under the strong grip of Tugger who held out his other arm and made a grand gesture. "Don't worry, Jerr, with my skills I can get you any Queen you want.

Jerrie wriggled out of his grip, "Er yeah… so I'll meet you here… tomorrow at lunch time eh?" he suggested with a nervous chuckle.

"Whatever you say, see you later Jerr, and oh… be ready for some _vigorous_ training." Tugger said with a smirk and a wink before bounding off in search of another meal.

* * *

The next day as the sun barely peeked over the horizon Bombalurina sat in her den slowly grooming her fur. The scarlet queen got up at the crack of dawn every day to groom, after all, beauty like hers required a bit of effort. She frequently glanced out of her dens entrance in order to keep track of time.

Just as dawn reached its peak Bomba had finished. She trotted out of her den and towards the red car in the center of the Junkyard, a few cats wandered around the junkyard, but most where sound asleep. She passed Jellylorum and Skimbleshanks chatting, before Skimble would leave for the station, and waved with a coy smile.

Once on the roof of the Car Bombalurina scanned the Junkyard, no sign of Rumpleteazer at all. She sighed and settled down so that she could still keep an eye on the networking in the Junkyard.

A long while later with the Junkyard buzzing with most of the Jellicles and Bombalurina still found herself alone and waiting. She groaned, it was well past morning and Teazer was way past late.

Before she could give up she saw the Orange Calico sprinting across the Junkyard towards the car. "Bomba?! I'm coming!!" she shrieked scaring some kittens who played nearby. A few seconds later Rumpleteazer was out of breath and on the hood of the car smiling.

Bombalurina looked over her with disgust, he hair was uncombed and stuck out in every different direction, and in between her teeth as she smiled where bits of grass. "Sorry I'm late… I got a little tied up getting breakfast." She said with a laugh as she recalled her heist of some human's breakfast.

"It's tacky for a 'Queen' to be so late… No Tom would ever wait this long…" Bomba said with an angry glare.

"Well excuse madam!" Rumpleteazer retorted in a mocking tone.

"You're going to need more help than I originally thought… Come on." Bombalurina thought for a moment before concluding that before lessons could start the Queen would need to be clean. She got up stretched and hopped off the car.

"Where ya goin?" Rumpleteazer asked reluctantly following the Scarlett Queen.

"Hmm?" Bombalurina raised an eyebrow looking back and then smiled, "You'll see…"

* * *

Mungojerrie found himself in Tugger's hunting spot from the day before. It was a bit after lunch time and the Tom was growing antsy. He sighed dejectedly getting up from his seated position. But before he could run off the curious cat tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey there Jerr, sorry I'm late, I got a little… held up." Tugger said with a smirk as he recalled his run in with some Queens on his way.

"Oh well, it alright I guess. You ready to get started?" Mungojerrie asked with a weak smile being the pushover that he was he forgave Tugger without a second thought.

"Not quite yet, I brought you a gift." The Maine Coon practically bounced up and down in his place. He hastily pulled out a large flashy golden spiked collar much like his own, but a little bit smaller. "So what do you think? This is my old one; you don't have to thank me." Tugger beamed as he ripped off Mungojerrie's collar and slapped on his new one.

Jerrie stammered to protest but was overpowered by the Junkyards alpha male. He pulled at the new collar as it uncomfortably snagged his neck. "That's very nice of you Tugger... but do you mind if I wear my old one for now…" he started nervously "I don't know If I'm quite… worthy of this yet." The Calico shyly removed the spiked monster.

Tugger raised a brow… "Well… suit yourself I guess..." he answered a bit confused. Tugger didn't understand why anyone would turn down an opportunity to look even slightly like himself. He safely tucked away the collar. "Well then lets begin buddy… but first lets at least make you look a little bit rougher. The girls like a strong Tom." The Maine Coon reached over and ruffled up Mungojerrie's fur. The thief didn't protest this time, it was of no use, somehow he would end up uncomfortable anyway.

"There… Now lets go, I heard some of the Queens talking about going out today, lets crash the party." Tugger said with a nod towards the main entrance of the Junkyard.

Jerrie sighed, "What 'ave I gotten myself into…" he muttered to himself.

* * *

"LET ME OUTTA 'ERE!" Rumpleteazer pleaded in a deafening scream as she splashed around in a small creek located near the junkyard.

"Stop being so overdramatic, just CALM DOWN!" Bombalurina scowled as she held down the calico and scrubbed her fur, this Queen took disliking getting wet to a whole new extreme.

A few minutes later Rumpleteazer emerged from the water, probably cleaner than she ever had been or would ever want to be in her lifetime. The small Queen angrily shook some water away that splashed Bombalurina, who was already wet from the struggle earlier.

"Why you…." Bombalurina stopped herself; she took a large frustrated breath and sighed.

"Now… it wasn't all that bad…" the Scarlett Queen said calmly as she began to groom her fur for the second time this day.

"Easy for you to say…princess" Rumpleteazer mumbled in return with a roll of her eyes.

"Beauty is pain, and even you can admit I have my pick of the Toms..." Bombalurina sneered cheekily, as mean as it sounded Teazer had to admit it was true.

Minutes passed and Bomba found herself perfectly groomed once again, while she had been cleaning Rumpleteazer curled up in a corner and sulked. The Red Queen walked over to her and motioned her to sit up.

More cleaning was in store and however painful it was they both got through it and after Bomba added a few finishing touches the notorious thief looked almost unrecognizable.

"Do you really think all of this matters?" Rumpleteazer asked as she looked mesmerized at herself in a shard of mirror, she had to admit she looked pretty.

"Trust me, I know." Bombalurina replied with a smile, proud of her work. "I heard that most of the Queens will be away today which means the Toms will all be alone, It's time to get you out there." The plan was already set in stone.

Rumpleteazer shifted uncomfortably, "Well… alright. You're the expert." She said complimenting the Scarlett Queen for the first time since they had met.

"Come on, and don't take any detours, and stand up straight. Please don't ruin all of my hard work." Bomba mumbled the last part as she set off towards the Junkyard once more. Teazer followed trying to be as proper as she could, the experiment was bound to end up in hilarity.

* * *

_**Lord, I can't even imagine what it would be like to type out what like, a russian accent sounds like or something. Like I said before, just imagine XD.**_

_**Thanks to anyone who reads! I'll probably update my stories soon, the weekend is coming!**_


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